I admit it. I’m a man. A straight cis man at that. I’m also a novelist who loves writing strong female characters.
Is that possible? Am I deluding myself? Am I doing my female readers (not to mention my female characters) a disservice?
I admit it. I’m a man. A straight cis man at that. I’m also a novelist who loves writing strong female characters.
Is that possible? Am I deluding myself? Am I doing my female readers (not to mention my female characters) a disservice?
I don’t think so. My mom has always been one of my role models. Growing up, both my parents worked, but my mom was also a homemaker and caregiver who never made me feel like she didn’t have time for me. I get my love of cooking from her. She cooked a lot, often with me watching from a chair pulled up to the counter next to her. She danced and smiled and loved life. She still does. And, oh yeah, she was also a nurse and went back to school to earn advanced degrees to further her career as a nurse and manager.
And my wife? She’s not just my best friend and inspiration. She’s another one of my role models. She’s an amazing mom. In fact, before we met, she was a single mom who supported and cared not just for her kids, but for one of her sisters and her children as well. She’s intuitive, intelligent and strong as hell. And I couldn’t ask for a better life partner. She lifts me up when I’m down. She shows me the way when I’m in the dark. And she does it all without asking for anything but my love in return. Frankly, I wish I was half the person she is.
So when I sit down to write a new female character, I have plenty of real-life examples to draw from. I don’t think I get it right every time. How could I? I’m a man, after all. I’m flawed and biased and imperfect in many ways. But even that helps me as I craft my female characters because I don’t want perfect characters. I want them to be realistic. You might not like every one of my characters (male or female), but my goal is that they spring to life from the page. They feel like so much more than a bunch of words strung together. That they remind you of someone or at least feel like they could be someone you might run into in your life.
I want to turn the damsel in distress trope on its head. Both of my current novels (“A Killer Secret” and “The Fall of Faith”) have female characters that feel like they need help. And both include men who see themselves as knights in shining armor. Of course, all is not as it seems, and things don’t follow the typical trope. Which, if you ask me, is a good thing.
Men putting women on a pedestal, treating them as princesses, and thinking they have to fix everything for women and rescue every female they meet contributes to the very real problem of toxic masculinity. It’s not healthy. For either sex. And when it comes to fiction, it’s not entertaining.
So can a man write a realistic, strong, and independent female character? I think so. They have to want to, of course, which might be why it’s not as common as it should be.
Can I write realistic, strong, and independent female characters? I believe I can and do. But, as with all things in the life of a novelist, it’s up to you, the reader, to make that call.
