Many famous (and not so famous) authors navigate the darker depths of their imaginations to craft stories that keep readers on the edge of their seats, chills snaking up and down their spines. This exploration can lead to the creation of amazing novels and other works of fiction, but there are times when diving into that darkness in the furthest reaches of your psyche takes an unexpected turn, plunging the writer into an abyss that’s hard to escape.
It’s this give and take (the giving of a creepy tale with the taking of a piece of a writer’s soul) that makes me love being an author of gritty thrillers. It’s also why it takes me so long to publish the next book. It’s not the writing that takes up so much time, but the need to reign in the darkness I’ve stirred up. Darkness that settles over me like a cold blanket of snow. It takes time and effort to compartmentalize this self-made gloom and put it back in a box in the back of my mind.
My Descent into the Shadows
As I delve into the depths of my creative process, I often discover my most gripping tales emerge from the recesses of my own darkness. With each word, I attempt to weave intricate narratives to reveal the raw, unfiltered emotions lurking within. My characters become vessels through which I exorcise my own demons, confront my deepest fears and vulnerabilities, and try to see the world from the point of view of some of the worst kinds of people to crawl the earth. It’s research. It’s self torture. It’s exciting and devastating all at once.
After a while, I find solace in the gloom, immersing myself in the darkest corners of my imagination. It’s here that I unearth the raw power of emotions such as grief, despair, and fear, which are the touchstones of all my works of fiction. I take a breath and peel back the layers of my characters, slowly revealing the complexity of the human psyche and the struggles that plague us all. My stories resonate with some readers because I explore universal themes of pain and anguish, illuminating the human experience in profound and unexpected ways. For other readers, my gory truths turn them off and turn them away. That’s okay. My novels are not for everyone.
The Internal Tug of War
Yet, as I descend into the darkness, an internal conflict arises. I’m torn between the catharsis of pouring my anguish onto the page and the toll it takes on my own well-being. The lines blur, and I lose myself in the world I’ve created. The characters I breathe life into seem to haunt my waking hours, leaving little room for respite (or my family). It’s like my characters become my family. Like it or not.
In this struggle between creation and self-destruction, I find an odd paradox. The very darkness that engulfs me is both a wellspring of inspiration and a vortex threatening to devour me whole. It’s in this precarious balance that my writing thrives, for above all else, I understand that without darkness, there can be no light. So I embrace the duality and transform my pain into art, creating stories I hope will resonate with readers on a deeply visceral level.
The Redemption
As I become consumed by the shadows, I hope I’ll keep the ability to find my way back into the light. Through my stories, I attempt to offer a glimpse of hope and redemption, without creating the expected trite happy ending. I search for solace amid chaos. For a beacon of light through the cracks of darkness.
I’d like to think that my willingness to confront the depths of the human condition grants me a unique perspective, allowing me to delve into the hearts of my readers. My obsession with darkness leaves an indelible mark on my work, etching my stories into readers’ minds (for better or worse). I never want to write a throwaway novel. One that keeps a reader’s attention only to be forgotten as soon as it’s finished. I want my words to resonate long after my book is closed, leaving a lasting impression on those who dare to venture into the dark realms I create.
So I’ll continue to traverse the murky depths of my soul to craft stories that captivate, inspire, and heal. And, above all else, serve as a reminder that even in the bleakest moments, there is a flicker of hope awaiting discovery.
